Funnies...

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Re: Funnies...

16 Jun 2026 12:47
#924960
Beware of Little Old Ladies 

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two plastic garbage bags. One bag had a hole in it and $20 bills were flying out of it.

A policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, you're losing a lot of bills from that bag." "Damn!" she said, "Thanks for the warning. I'll go back and pick them up."

"Hold on there! Where'd all that money come from? Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no," she said. "My yard backs up on the stadium parking lot and, during tailgate parties, lots of guys use my flower beds as bathrooms. So I stand behind a bush with my electric hedge clipper and when one sticks his thing out, I fire up the trimmer and say: '$20 or off it comes!'"

"Wow. Good idea!" laughed the cop. "But what's in the other bag?"

"Well," said the little old lady, "not all of them pay up!"

 
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83' KZ750-F1 LTD [clymers] (Kay)
82' KZ1100-D1 Specter (another project)
78' KZ650-B2a (J&H, A Project)
91' KZ1000-P (P = parts)

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Re: Funnies...

20 Jun 2026 03:51
#925099
   Late summer 2025 we did a motorcycle tour of the Alps.  Long, pic-heavy story / ride report yet to be written.

   All manner of livestock are allowed to graze free-range at high altitudes during summer.  We knew when we were climbing & crossed a cattle grate on the road to raise awareness.  It wasn't unusual to round a curve and see an animal strolling along the fog line or just standing there.  We saw sheep, goats, horses and beef cattle in unfenced high mountain meadows, often close alongside the road and, occasionally, on the road.  Some areas were more notorious for animal incursion on roads than others.  The guides made sure to warn everyone during the morning Riders meetings what to expect. 

   One mountain road in Switzerland was particularly infamous for beef cattle meandering across, grazing next to or, sometimes, just standing in the center of, staring out into space, contemplating the meaning of life and the nature of the universe, often having dropped a large, smelly, frictionless surprise before moving on.  We passed one cow doing / having done just that.  She was completely unperturbed by 13 bikes passing within 2 ~ 3 ft. of her.

   Not long after we passed said cow we stopped at a restaurant at the top of the pass for lunch.  Many fine pics, drawings and colorful paintings lining hallways in European mountain eateries are common.  This one made us stop in our tracks to get a good pic.

   KAW POWER !
 

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A biker looks at your engine and chrome.
A Rider looks at your odometer and tags.

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Re: Funnies...

01 Jul 2026 13:17
#925421
In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.


 
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79' KZ650-D2 [fsm] (Max)
83' KZ750-F1 LTD [clymers] (Kay)
82' KZ1100-D1 Specter (another project)
78' KZ650-B2a (J&H, A Project)
91' KZ1000-P (P = parts)

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Re: Funnies...

01 Jul 2026 15:54
#925426
   Late summer 2025 we did a motorcycle tour of the Alps.  Long, pic-heavy story / ride report yet to be written.

   All manner of livestock are allowed to graze free-range at high altitudes during summer.  We knew when we were climbing & crossed a cattle grate on the road to raise awareness.  It wasn't unusual to round a curve and see an animal strolling along the fog line or just standing there.  We saw sheep, goats, horses and beef cattle in unfenced high mountain meadows, often close alongside the road and, occasionally, on the road.  Some areas were more notorious for animal incursion on roads than others.  The guides made sure to warn everyone during the morning Riders meetings what to expect. 

   One mountain road in Switzerland was particularly infamous for beef cattle meandering across, grazing next to or, sometimes, just standing in the center of, staring out into space, contemplating the meaning of life and the nature of the universe, often having dropped a large, smelly, frictionless surprise before moving on.  We passed one cow doing / having done just that.  She was completely unperturbed by 13 bikes passing within 2 ~ 3 ft. of her.

   Not long after we passed said cow we stopped at a restaurant at the top of the pass for lunch.  Many fine pics, drawings and colorful paintings lining hallways in European mountain eateries are common.  This one made us stop in our tracks to get a good pic.

   KAW POWER !
 

Good Ridin'
slmjim & Z1BEBE

 
I did wonder if that trip happened in the end :)

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Re: Funnies...

02 Jul 2026 02:29
#925433
Eschew Obfuscation.

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A biker looks at your engine and chrome.
A Rider looks at your odometer and tags.

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Re: Funnies...

02 Jul 2026 02:35
#925435
Eschew Obfuscation. ????

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Re: Funnies...

02 Jul 2026 03:54 - 03 Jul 2026 04:49
#925437
Eschew Obfuscation. ????

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   Precisely the point !   Thanks for asking.

   Eschew is a formal verb that means to deliberately avoid, shun, or abstain from something.  In simpler terms, eliminate or avoid.

   Obfuscation is a formal noun that means the use of overly complex jargon, circumlocution, or ambiguous language to obscure the truth or bewilder an audience; the deliberate (or accidental) act of making information or communication muddled, unclear, confusing or, difficult to understand.  In simpler terms, muddling or confusion.

   Eschew obfuscation = avoid confusion / eliminate muddling.

EDIT:  Example -  Water.  We all know water.  The common abbreviation we learned in grade school for water is H2O.  Simple & understandable.
            BUT...
            What if I intentionally write DHMO, a.k.a. dihydrogen monoxide? And, follow that with (shocking!!!) facts that read as follows:
            The Environment: It is a major component of acid rain, drives soil erosion, and accelerates metal rusting.
            Hazards: Inhalation causes thousands of drowning deaths yearly, and its gaseous form can cause severe burns.
            Biology: It is found in tumors and is consumed daily.

               I've used facts for obfuscation, often with an underlying agenda.  If I simply write 'water', or 'H2O', I have avoided, or 'eschewed' said obfuscation.

   A response of 'eschew obfuscation' in the appropriate context can have an ironic / comical aspect for wordsmiths, listeners and readers.  Words can be fun (and funny) toys to play with.

   We now end this obscure English lesson, hopefully having eschewed some obfuscation, and return you to our regularly-scheduled interwebs program of Motorcycle Madness.

Good Ridin'
slmjim & Z1BEBE
   
A biker looks at your engine and chrome.
A Rider looks at your odometer and tags.

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1973 ('72 builds) Z1 x2
1974 Z1-A x2
1975 Z1-B x2
1993 CB 750 Nighthawk
2009 ST1300A

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A Forum tightly focused on all things Z1 and Z2.
Last edit: 03 Jul 2026 04:49 by slmjim+Z1BEBE. Reason: Clarity of example
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Re: Funnies...

10 Jul 2026 20:00
#925661
I went to the store I went to the smoke shop only to discover it'd been replaced by an apparel store......

Clothes, but no cigar.



 
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83' KZ750-F1 LTD [clymers] (Kay)
82' KZ1100-D1 Specter (another project)
78' KZ650-B2a (J&H, A Project)
91' KZ1000-P (P = parts)

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Re: Funnies...

10 Jul 2026 20:01 - 10 Jul 2026 20:01
#925662
My wife's credit card got stolen 
I haven't reported it yet.
They're spending less.


 
C.
79' KZ650-D2 [fsm] (Max)
83' KZ750-F1 LTD [clymers] (Kay)
82' KZ1100-D1 Specter (another project)
78' KZ650-B2a (J&H, A Project)
91' KZ1000-P (P = parts)
Last edit: 10 Jul 2026 20:01 by !Seymore.
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Re: Funnies...

11 Jul 2026 01:50
#925664
A leopard was spotted sitting next to a small motorcycle.

But that's not news.

Leopards are spotted everywhere.


Good Ridin'
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A biker looks at your engine and chrome.
A Rider looks at your odometer and tags.

USA

1973 ('72 builds) Z1 x2
1974 Z1-A x2
1975 Z1-B x2
1993 CB 750 Nighthawk
2009 ST1300A

www.kawasaki-z-classik.com
A Forum tightly focused on all things Z1 and Z2.
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Re: Funnies...

11 Jul 2026 10:43
#925674
Florida:  Arrive on vacation, depart on probation.


 
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83' KZ750-F1 LTD [clymers] (Kay)
82' KZ1100-D1 Specter (another project)
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91' KZ1000-P (P = parts)

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Re: Funnies...

25 Jul 2026 13:07
#926090
Oil Shortage Explained...


There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in the USA. Well, there's a very simple answer... Nobody bothered to check the oil.

We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical.

All the oil is in Texas, Oklahoma, Alaska, Wyoming, etc.

All the dipsticks are in Washington, D.C. 🤣


 
C.
79' KZ650-D2 [fsm] (Max)
83' KZ750-F1 LTD [clymers] (Kay)
82' KZ1100-D1 Specter (another project)
78' KZ650-B2a (J&H, A Project)
91' KZ1000-P (P = parts)
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