Funnies...

rumble.com/v731bjw-cat-hairballs-merry-y...tml?e9s=src_v1_eh_us

 

Nope, not making it this year...

 

 

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the Condo clubhouse when Willie loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time, standing at the table. Gus looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell the wife?"

They draw straws and Harry picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me."

Harry goes over to the Willie's apartment, knocks on the door, the wife answers, and asks what he wants. Harry declares, "Your husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home."

She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!"

Harry says, "I'll go tell him."
 

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.

At a workshop on dog temperament, the instructor noted that a test for a canine's disposition was for an owner to fall down and act hurt.

A dog with poor temperament would try to bite the person, whereas a good dog would lick his owner's face or show concern.

Once, while eating pizza in the living room, I decided to try out this theory on my two dogs.

I stood up, clutched my heart, let out a scream and collapsed on the floor.

The dogs looked at me, glanced at each other and raced to the coffee table for my pizza.

 

Singing in the shower is fun until the shampoo gets in your mouth... then it’s a soap opera.